Family life; how do enjoy it? Myths about family life and its breakdown. The article will shed light on the most common misconceptions about what a marriage relationship should look like. Family myths are passive reflections on how partners should behave in marriage towards each other. These wrong conclusions often prevent a couple from understanding each other, eventually leading to divorce. The article will dispel myths about family life, which nothing confirms.
Table of Contents
There are no quarrels in a perfect family.
When you look at some couples, you are sometimes surprised that they have a perfect idyll as a couple. On the other hand, a husband cannot wash dirty linen in public and settle things with violence outside of public scrutiny. At the same time, lovers quickly come to terms and forget about past grievances. The presence of conflict in the family does not at all mean that the marriage is not stable, and there is a risk of divorce. It is especially true for the first three years we live together when it’s grinding into each other. Psychologists worry about couples where there is no conflict. Experts believe that in this case, there are no real feelings between the spouses, and each life according to his interests.
Partners understand each other perfectly.
To resist this myth, you must be at least a mountaineer or psychic. All people are different in both their mentality and temperament. It is impossible to be constantly aware of what a partner wants at the moment. Suppose, at the same time, he does not express his wishes. In that case, a wall of alienation and misunderstanding arises between the husband and the wife. Predicting specific thoughts of a soulmate is realistic, but not a single person can read them thoroughly.
There are no secrets in a perfect family.
Sometimes it is better to remain silent than to destroy an existing relationship with a careless word. Such a statement does not mean you have to lie to your loved one. The truth is only good if it hurts no one. Therefore, some secrets from the second half (for benefit) will not interfere.
You can postpone sex.
It can be postponed indefinitely but at the risk of losing your partner forever. It’s not every day that people feel like they can have sex. However, explaining to your husband or wife the real reason for such refusal is necessary. A loving person will calmly accept such a postponement. With an egoist, it is not worth building a relationship further.
It is necessary to separate the responsibilities of men and women.
According to “Domostroi,” the days of family life rules are long gone. Equality should be the foundation of every family that wants to maintain their relationship to a ripe old age. It is necessary to distribute responsibility around the house so that everyone does what they do best. A man is not ashamed to cook borscht if his wife cooks it much worse. A spouse can hammer in the same nail if her faithful one does not know how to hold a hammer correctly.
The couple must have common interests in everything.
Should remember it once and for all: no one and no one owes anything in terms of their personal preferences. At the same time, the spouses must listen to each other when planning their joint leisure. However, you cannot force yourself to do what you do not want. In this case, it will look like self-sacrifice, leading to the devaluation of your own “I.”
Having a child strengthens the marriage.
In this case, it is necessary to make some changes. A child could unite the family if the couple did not have significant problems regarding mutual understanding before his birth. Otherwise, it will not glue a broken cup together even with the help of such a happy event. Therefore, a woman is left not only without a partner but also with a child in her arms.
Married people are deprived of their freedom.
It is with this myth that omniscient divorcees or involuntary teenagers fear young people. Psychologists have different opinions and justify their point of view quite clearly. A happy marriage is not a chain where people are chained but an equal union of two loving hearts. With complete trust in each other, the spouses will handle each other’s absence for necessary matters in an acceptable manner.
Sex becomes a compassionate duty in marriage.
It will happen if people don’t love each other in the beginning. When there is mutual passion in the marriage, feelings get worse. The ability to retire with a desired sexual partner at any time promotes regular sex. In addition, mutual trust between partners allows them to make the most daring attempts in sex without fearing the negative consequences of such behavior.
A perfect marriage is a dull haven.
Some skeptics view family life this way. Psychologists disagree with this view. Normality and routine can engulf the consciousness of even a person who is not married. It all depends on the people themselves who organize their own lives. Suppose husband and wife are interested in each other. In that case, gray everyday life will not come to their family, and there will be no bitterness towards spouses.
Marriage kills romance
The flower-candy season doesn’t last long enough. Some people who want to formalize their relationship fear this very aspect. Family legends are based on the prejudice that after the last echo of Mendelssohn’s waltz, people should not expect pleasant surprises from each other. The fort has been taken, and there is no point in continuing to storm it. At the same time, people with such an opinion forget that you must work on relationships daily to avoid the couple’s separation. You can, if you want, extend the flower candy season by many years if you have real feelings about your choice.
You cannot be disappointed in a loved one.
Psychologists say that sometimes it is even necessary and beneficial. There are no perfect people, so it’s worth taking off your rose-colored glasses beforehand. Before marriage, couples in love try to show each other their most positive qualities. After a significant event, there can be a level of disappointment in a person who seems ideal. It would help if you were not afraid of such an anxious feeling because many people in marriage experience the same feelings.
They do not form part with loved ones for a minute.
Such a magnificent phrase has become a dog story for many non-believers. Long-term exchanges hurt relationships that need to be constantly given new emotions. However, a short absence can benefit couples who are together daily. It is necessary to respect the partner’s personal space and allow him to spend time outside the family fire.
Jealousy is the basis of real emotions.
The sense of ownership has nothing to do with genuine feelings of love. Believing in the purity of your partner’s thoughts is the foundation of building strong relationships. Jealousy tends to destroy only, not create. Both spouses should remember this but not write off the consumer’s attitude towards the chosen one for fear of losing him.
Marriage is the culmination of a relationship.
The fair sex usually holds this opinion. The coveted ring on their finger means that their personal life is thriving, and there is no need to strain anymore. Marriage is the beginning of a difficult path that can be overcome only together and with the help of joint efforts. The highlight of the union of two loving hearts is not a painting in the registry office but a strong and stable family.
A woman is a housewife; a man is a provider.
The myth of such a plan is famous among people of eastern ethnicity. From a patriarchal perspective, this concept involves finding a woman at home without the right to career growth. The modern woman will undoubtedly disagree with the vocal order because feminists have long destroyed such a stereotype. There is nothing wrong with a woman earning more than a man. Everyone has to do their part for the family to prosper financially.
Marriage must take place during adulthood.
In this case, I remember the famous movie “You Never Dreamed of” after watching it; no stone will be left unturned from such a legend. It does not matter at what age the desire to marry legally came. It all depends on the emotional maturity of the couple in love and their similarity in views on family life.
If there is a dispute, it is best to spread out in different rooms.
After the fight, some couples persistently slammed the doors of different bedrooms. They argue for such actions because you cannot go to sleep with a man who offended you. A dispute is a dispute because, with a small choice with irony between husband and wife, you should not follow the advice of a voiced legend. During the vigil, loving hearts often forgive each other for all the barbs spoken the night before.
Sometimes it’s worth punishing by refusing to have sex.
It should immediately announce that such a method is the first step to betraying a partner and divorce. It cannot explain the essence of the conflict in sexual relations in couples. There will always be a more accommodating candidate next door who will be able to destroy the marriage. If there is a serious disagreement, you can refuse to court your partner, but this should not become the norm.
Civil marriage is like a public one.
Thus, women calm down, but their partners are in no rush to legalize the current relationship. The reasons for such a decision can be very different, but the fact remains. A loving man is always ready to give his last name to a woman he cares about. The rest of the reasoning on his part is simply the desire to have a constant companion nearby without any strings attached.
You can’t let strangers into the family.
To some extent, such a warning is worth heeding. However, the fear of a friend (friend) taking a loved one from the family is irrational. Suppose there is mutual understanding between the couple and no sexual promiscuity. In that case, you should not be afraid of this kind of betrayal.
Must build the family according to someone else’s positive example
It’s never too late to learn, but trying someone else’s carbon prints for your own life is not recommended. Some young couples try to build their relationships based on a beautiful image of their parent’s marriage. However, they are unaware that their dad and mom might be having a big fight with the matrimonial room door closed. It is necessary to build your relationship based on three elements: intuition, observation, and analysis of the behavior of a loved one.
Can forgive everything for keeping the family together
You can only transcend your “I” if your loved ones are in real danger. It is difficult to forget the insult that caused significant emotional trauma in another situation. Psychologists advise you to leave if there is no strength to cope with this pain. Artificially preserving the family is not recommended because the couple will still divorce in the future.
A marriage contract is not acceptable with true love.
Some people believe that a couple should not have commercial thoughts in a passionate relationship. However, quickness is only suitable for catching fleas. Creating a new family implies a severe approach to such an event. A marriage contract will be the key to an honest relationship regarding finances.
Over the years, love fades.
In the case of an unstable relationship, feelings can disappear a year after marriage. In other situations, the passion eventually subsides. Still, more stable surfaces replace it – trust and confidence in the future next to your trusted partner.
Myths about family life are created based on speculation, rumors, and the bad personal experiences of others. Believe them or not is a private matter for everyone. It must bear in mind that prejudice often destroys a harmonious relationship in a married couple. It would help if you heeded the advice in this article to save your marriage.