Casual relationships: The psychology of casual relationships

Casual relationships between a man and a woman, the essence and psychology of casual relationships, and the pros and cons of a relationship without commitment. A free relationship is a relationship between a man and a woman based on sex without commitment. He and she live separately, meeting only regularly for intimacy. It does not impose any legal obligation on the other. Any invasion of personal freedom, be it jealousy or claims, is seen as an insult and leads to the end of a love relationship.

The story of the relationship between a man and a woman

At the dawn of humanity, love did not exist. It was just an instinct to reproduce. In a semi-wild society, too short a life dictated its terms. Then there was promiscuity – irregular sexual intercourse. Primitive men and women were not at all eager to enjoy intimacy.

Sex with multiple partners intuitively, on a subconscious level, helped to prolong the genus. One can speculate about free relationships at this time, but they were based on a completely different principle. Indispensable conditions for “mating” were the offspring.

People began to think about pleasure much later when labor became more efficient and a surplus of goods appeared. And therefore, they could spend their free time pleasantly with a woman.

With the introduction of same-sex marriages, the attitude towards it became two-fold. In the essay “On Eros,” the ancient Greek writer Plutarch pointed out that “there is no greater joy, no more constant affection, so bright and enviable a friendship, as where husband and wife live in harmony and keep order at home.” glorified family virtues; female adultery was condemned and severely punished. Society was demeaning to male atheism.

In the middle Ages, Christianity denied physical pleasure; love was seen as the highest feeling for God. And all else is but sinful passions. They were forbidden; they could be burned at stake for disobedience. There is no need to talk about the free intercourse of the sexes at this time. Sexual desires were driven deep into the soul’s recesses, leading to various distortions. For example, nuns in monasteries lived together; such a fashion did not pass by male monastic communities.

Humanists in the middle Ages, such as the English philosopher John Locke (1632-1704), argued that women and men were equal in their rights; this was the essence of free relationships. In high society, so-called courtly refined love appeared when gentlemen gracefully handled a married woman.

It is a kind of respect for the free relationship of the sexes, plagued by a strict church ban. Cheating on her husband was not encouraged, but they looked after her very well. Kings cheated on their crowned wives; they were also not in debt and had many lovers.

A crazy relationship replaced romantic courtly love. Monogamous marriage is out of fashion. In high society, polygamy spreads when he has several wives (polygamy) and she has many lovers (polygamy). Marriage as a family virtue has lost its meaning. Adultery is no longer condemned.

From this time, the free union of a man and a woman should be considered, as it is understood today. The sexual liberation of the sexes has replaced asexuality.

Society was still shy about marriage. The claim appeared that sex was not good and immoral even in a family. Others thought there was nothing wrong with it.

Nowadays, the American psychologist N. Brenden substantiated the romantic theory of the relationship between the sexes. In his opinion, feelings based on mutual sexual attraction help one to realize a man and a woman.

It is important to know! Free love was preached in the last century by hippies. Most of them ended their lives without success. A causal relationship mustn’t overshadow the fundamental values ​​of life: a sense of responsibility and the desire to succeed in life.

How to understand casual relationships?

The essence of free relationships is precise that they are free, which means that none of the partners take on much responsibility, such as those in the family. If they say she is a social entity, the same cannot be said of people who live from meeting to meeting. In their behavior, they are free, like a bird in flight. They only meet for sex.

The following principles characterize accessible communication between a man and a woman:

  • “I sleep with you but don’t meddle with my soul”… Sessions only for sex, fun, and entertainment. It relaxes and allows you to rest. The soul shakes, and all personal problems fade into the background.
  • No one owes anyone anything … An open relationship can be long-term, but not necessarily. Sometimes there are meetings “for one night.” We had a great time, we talked, especially if everything was not good in private life, but they did not give each other an “oath.” We parted as good friends.
  • Freedom of choice … If you don’t owe each other anything, you can change partners (partners) regularly. Many do this in our release time, but where does it lead? This ” morality ” resulted in the growth of sexually transmitted diseases. Let’s say that in 2017, 950 thousand people were infected with HIV in Russia. And where is the guarantee that the next “free” partner is not one of these numbers? It is not written on his face.
  • Unrequited love … Let’s say she is in love, but he doesn’t have deep feelings for her. The girl agrees to meet regularly, hoping he will fall in love. Sometimes this happens, but more often, such an open relationship leads nowhere, ending in a break. Sometimes in such a love affair, commercial interest is visible; for example, a partner earns good money and can support his mistress without any “experiments” on her part regarding his freedom.
  • The openness of the relationship … When partners are a training ground for each other, they give their sexual fantasies a solution and gain their erotic experience. At the same time, no one is teasing anyone. It is not forbidden to talk freely about your past love affairs without fear of encountering jealousy. You can quickly understand if intimacy is tired or someone has too much libido without hysteria and settlement “flight” there.
  • Insecurity in relationships … As a rule, open relationships are typical for a young couple. When you want to walk and enjoy the “festival of life.” Why not have sex without strings attached? Enjoy, get tired of each other, and escape. Morality is entirely in the spirit of our liberated being.

It is important to know! Free love is based only on sex; it does not include family and children. It is good if young people understand this.

The psychology of a no-strings-attached relationship

The psychology of accessible communication between a man and a woman is primarily based on respect for the individual. You respect yourself and appreciate your partner. That is, treat him the way you want him to treat you. When this basic principle of communication is not respected, there cannot be a free relationship. If the love affair continues, it is based on submission. Most of the time, she “looks in the mouth” of a person she is madly in love with.

Communication should be open and friendly. It is impossible to build a genuine relationship with lies and anger. Only honesty and willingness to always come to the rescue in difficult times will allow you to be together for a long time. Although the meetings are regular, everyone lives with their concerns.

It is necessary to understand that loose coupling is only very conditional clearly. Of course, it does not involve deep feelings; such “free” couples do not try to create a family. However, if a man and a woman meet for a long time, sooner or later, “attraction” occurs. Some want it to be like everyone else: family, children.

A relationship is inevitable if the other partner is hostile, which can lead to stress. Habits rule a man, and here we have met for so long. And then, in the psychological clinic, you have to seek solace because of sudden running problems. One of the two was not psychologically prepared for such a scenario.

Free love happens in marriage. He and she aren’t jealous of each other because of hookups on the side. It is due to the psychological characteristics of a man and a woman who decided to become husband and wife but never left their “bachelor” habits.

Top reasons for casual relationships

Can call an open relationship a “sexual friendship.” As a rule, starting a family is a fleeting and transitional phase.

Why do men prefer casual relationships?

When they talk about the psychology of men and free relationships, they mean the inner motivation of the more vigorous sex and why they decided on such a relationship. What drives them to such selfish behavior towards women if we call a spade a spade?

Consider the reasons that motivate men to seek free meetings with the fair sex:

  • “Look for a woman”! It is what a French proverb says. It is good to have a friend by your side without unreasonable pretensions. And then when you want it. Spend time together, have a great time in bed, and goodbye! Until next time. Today, such busy leisure is called “free contact.” And which of the men is against such short-term sentences? It seems that they are few.
  • “Seize the moment”! The guy has not yet found his happiness, and here the girl shows him signs of attention. I don’t like her, but she’s not ugly. And as they say, there is fish for fishlessness and cancer. So why not use her body? And, of course, without any obligation on our part. She is glad at least for such a relationship; what if it turns out to be more serious? And the man is quite happy, what’s even better?
  • Sex for health … Personal life did not work out, the family broke up, and he was left alone. He meets a woman but does not want to formalize his relationship with her. She is also satisfied with little. We met, spent time together, and left the problems at the door, and that’s good. Sex colors men’s loneliness with feminine warmth and gives a sense of confidence in life.
  • “Guest Marriage”… This is for older men and singles. He and she live according to their own home and their concerns. None of them infringes on the privacy of the other. Sometimes only felt intimacy. They are happy with this and do not want to change their position.
  • A woman like … The beautiful, even inspiring, soul of the company radiates positive energy. It will make you feel comfortable and safe around her. At the same time, he does not cause high demands. It is always mysterious and feminine in all situations.
  • The partner is intelligent, caring, and gentle … Men always like them. And if she has no “cockroaches” in her head, is not jealous, and deals with her partner’s personal life tactfully, does not demand a quick wedding, an open relationship can be long-lasting.
  • It’s just fine with her … Every meeting is like a vacation: loud or quiet, but bright and unforgettable—no mutual insults, complaints, and complaints. You rest your soul with her. All daily worries faded into the background. Intimate dinner for two and great sex. Healthy, relaxed relationships. The only question is: for how long? Everything in our world is fleeting, and casual relationships are even more so.

It is important to know! A free love affair is only a stage in life. If a man tries to live all the time without responsibility towards his wife, he will live an empty life.

Casual relationships
Casual relationships

Why do women choose a casual relationship?

The psychology of women in casual relationships is not much different from that of men. But due to the uniqueness of the female character, there are still differences. First, they relate to heartbreak and the fear of losing your loved one.

Why do girls join casual relationships with men? Let’s consider in more detail:

  • Low self-esteem … The girl grows up, often looks in the mirror, and does not like herself. It seems to her that her face and figure look worse than her peers, and therefore she will not be able to find a boyfriend. She begins to get involved, and when she meets a young man she likes, she is ready to do anything for him. He likes it and offers sex with no strings attached. There is no need to talk about the equality of two people in such a situation.
  • Willingness to change your personal life … Childlessness, desire to grow up and make responsible adult decisions. I can relate to the feelings of childhood when parents swear constantly. It affects the child’s psyche; the girl is afraid of a deep relationship with a man after growing up. I only accept a love relationship without the obligation to marry and be responsible for the family.
  • “Love is evil”… Well, I like him, but don’t regret it. She agrees to do anything to be close to her loved one. It is already a “flaw” in the relationship, which does not bode well. In such a love relationship, there is no need to discuss respect for each other. She runs after him like a thread for a needle.
  • Lack of absolute trust … We’ll wait, “have sex,” and see what comes of it. Nothing may happen. They met, burned with love, and parted “like a ship at sea.” Proud and quiet, without suffering and screaming.
  • “I’m looking for”… Here, the argument goes something like this: “The guy is nice and sociable, not greedy for money; you can sit comfortably with him in a restaurant.” Why not have sex with him? But the world is excellent, and a better person is suddenly met. You shouldn’t be in a rush to get married, but I’m not going to be a nun either. Love without commitment is just the best solution for me. “

It is important to know! Whether a girl wants to enter into an open relationship or not depends only on her. It is worth evaluating all the pros and cons of such a love affair. No wonder it is said that “girls with a future should avoid men with a past.”

Pros and cons of free dating

What does an open relationship mean for a man and a woman? This question primarily involves “gender equality,” when men and women have equal rights in all areas of life. In sex too. Only gender equality has its pros and cons. Let’s take a closer look at this.

The positive side of free love is the mutual acceptance of such a relationship. It is understood that they are based on mutual respect and interference in the private life of the spouses; when there is no jealousy, their original personality and independence in decision-making are preserved. Young people live and enjoy a life where they are young and healthy; occasional meetings in private bring deep pleasure.

Casual relationships in adulthood are associated with a failed personal life; for example, a family has broken up, and you do not want to start anew. A man and a woman are afraid of repeating past mistakes and agree to meet without serious commitments. It is also an option. Life is colored with warm colors and doesn’t look so sad.

Sex without commitment has negative aspects. First, this is a desire to be responsible and avoid your partner’s problems. Suppose this tendency develops into a persistent habit of stepping aside in difficult life situations. In that case, we should talk about the infancy of the personality. After a year, you are already an adult, but the growing-up years have not come. He hides his childhood behind a facade of free love.

Another serious aspect of an independent relationship is the agreement that you can “walk” on the side. And where is the guarantee that frequent change of partner (spouse) does not lead to sad consequences when you can get a “bad” disease? Venereal diseases in our time are by no means uncommon. The reason for this is just free sex with no guarantees.

Not everyone in our society perceives casual relationships as usual. To many, they seem to be a distortion of the moral foundations of our ancestors when they believed that a man and a woman could only live together in marriage.

It is important to know! No matter how hot the free relationship between two hearts is, sooner or later, it will break up or lead to a family. It is common for a man and a woman to live in pairs and have children. And these are responsibilities and new family ties.


Free love is short-lived or lifelong. It should be understood by those who have decided to have sex without commitment. No matter what they say, a relationship is always guaranteed, even if it’s shortened. It would help if you were prepared for the partner (partner) wanting more and breaking the connection. In this case, you should not be upset; life goes on. But you need to ask, “Isn’t it time to take responsibility and start a family?”

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