Guilt, how it arises, and how it affects the quality and integrity of life. Basic methods for dealing with persistent guilt for women, men, and children. Guilt is a completely normal reaction of a person to an act that he doubts. It stems from psychological, social, and characteristic attitudes, called conscience. One rebukes oneself for certain actions or even thoughts, which can adversely affect the quality of life and even lead to depressive disorders.
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The effect of guilt on life
Of course, the ever-oppressive feeling of guilt that literally gnaws at a person from within does not return in the best way against their quality of life. All areas of activity suffer, including work relationships, family climate, and self-satisfaction.
One who is stuck on one feeling is incapable of an objective part of social life. He looks at everything unilaterally through the prism of guilt.
The prevailing emotion pushes others, no less important, out of the spotlight. Often, when one is guilty, one makes the wrong decisions and assesses the situation biased.
In such situations, relationships with other people often deteriorate, it seems that they do not understand and will never be able to understand this feeling. Work relationships deteriorate, as a sober mind and ingenuity are needed, and if emotions are swept away by thoughts of wine, then there can be no serious, balanced decisions.
The main reasons for the development of guilt
Behind every feeling of guilt is a certain facility or act, about what an individual regrets or feels wrong. This offense can be significant and significant, which is why an ordinary person is so worried about it, or it can turn out to be a small difference, but because of their own increased feelings, it erupts with a great deal of guilt and torment. In each case, you can find the beginning of this emotion and after diagnosing the problem, there is an opportunity to get rid of these emotions.
Causes of fines in children
Such a feeling can very often occur in children, regardless of age and social status. The unformed soul of the child reflects the world in its own way and divides everything right and wrong in another way.
Accordingly, an internal conflict with the conscience is a fairly common occurrence in a child. The reasons for this are usually related to one area of work, whether it is school, home, or dance association. More often he chooses what is more important to him. There he will weigh his words and actions carefully and the slightest mistake will make the child feel guilty.
The reason for such a violent reaction to one’s own mistakes can be a strict upbringing from childhood. If the parents threatened to punish the offender, the child tries very hard not to do so. Unfortunately, there are accidents and involuntary mistakes that can cause a great deal of discomfort in connection with the violation of the ban or the failure to complete the project.
Very often, in response to the parental ban, a fairly persistent attitude is formed, which several times goes beyond the importance of the ban itself. For example, if the parents said that they would be punished for poor academic performance and the child took it upon himself, he would be afraid of a fight, as if this was the worst thing that could happen to him.
The feeling of guilt develops from an early age. Even toddlers can get unusual long-term guilt reactions for wrongdoing. For example, parents shame a child for peeing in tights rather than asking for a hot tub. Often the form of this attitude is a motivating cry, which the psychic patient of a vulnerable child perceives as an unshakable ban, and it cannot be broken by the pain of death.
Then, if the child still pushes the tights, he will walk wet at least all day, endure the discomfort and even get a cold but will not admit to his parents about what he has done. This is one of the most public and common examples of how conscience and guilt develop from childhood itself.
A child’s morbid guilt can be combined with low self-esteem, which involves self-esteem and perception of oneself as a person who is constantly doing something wrong. This attitude can be dictated by parents, teachers in educational institutions, relatives, relatives, or peers.
Very often, addicted to school, even bullying leaves an indelible mark on the child’s psyche and he begins to feel disrespect and disrespect for himself. Together with incidental or unintentional errors, the situation carries huge morbid guilt in the child.
Causes of guilt in adults
In adults, constant guilt manifests itself in only one way. However, very often, in most cases of morbid guilt, there is a childish tendency to such an experience. This refers to unfavorable circumstances, fear of childhood and self-doubt, and personality traits. Vulnerable people often have violent emotional reactions to minor stimuli, including guilt.
But for some reason,, certain actions that are considered wrong do not cause pathological feelings, while others suffer from torment due to their own guilt. This pattern of behavior depends on the internal factors of each individual. All knowledge and developed response systems are in accordance with the inner justice of each individual.
This justice, together with guilt if it is violated, creates a conscience. It is like a filter that evaluates all the thoughts, events, and decisions of an individual and then passes judgment. You cannot deceive yourself and therefore conscientious objectors are the most objective but they do not always have benefits. Sad long-standing guilt, even after acknowledging or correcting mistakes, persists and does not go away for long.
Guilt in adults can develop in many cases:
- The wrong action … One can blame oneself for all actions performed by one or others. In the first case, he blames himself for the mistakes, and secondly, the inability to decide for himself whether he is going to do something. All events in life, which were caused by wrong actions and caused harm or inconvenience to others, automatically cause a reaction to falling. The guilt usually disappears after this error is eliminated or after its importance. Pathological guilt is characterized by perseverance, even after an apology, a correction of this wrong action. One adjusts oneself to what one has done wrong and withdraws into oneself.
- Incorrect inaction … Often, a result of an inaccurate result is due to insufficient force. If in some situations, inaction and lateness hurt, disrupt other people, or do not conform to their ideas of justice, they may feel guilty. It can feel guilty towards other people or towards yourself.
- Wrong decision with or without consequences … If something important depends on the word, decision or command of the individual, he or she is automatically entrusted with a great deal of responsibility. Was subject to the decision.
- The wrong attitude towards someone or something … Such guilt is pure self-esteem towards you. This is a variant of an inner struggle, a conflict of personalities struggling with their own manifestations. For example, you mistreat your children, your spouse, or your co-workers. This behavior has long been against him, he does not want to change his behavior. On these grounds, a deceptive but strong sense of guilt is formed because of their words and a bad attitude towards those who do not deserve it. People often make deliberate mistakes and neglect something in life, but at the same time regret this attitude.
Signs of developing guilt
When a person is tormented from within because of an internal conflict with his own conscience, he stands out prominently and changes his normal behavior. Gradually delve into their thoughts and experiences and shut them off from the outside world with a psychological barrier.
It depends on the type of character, so people can completely protect themselves from everything and go completely into their experience. The problem is that sometimes it is difficult to reach them and help because guilt significantly reduces self-esteem and increases self-doubt.
People who feel guilty often try to correct certain mistakes that have been made. For example, if something goes wrong or is damaged at work or at home because of this person, the natural response is to apologize and try to fix what went wrong. The response is not always successful, but it does help the conscience.
Morbid guilt can lead to reactions that prevent you from accepting a correction of mistakes that are sufficient to justify justice. The individual will constantly try to apologize and, after receiving an apology, will not see it as a residual solution to the error, which will give even more guilt. The penalty ring explains the pathology and complexity of the situation.
If it is unequivocal, if it constantly feels guilty and cannot be eliminated, then it complicates a person’s social life significantly. The depressive state becomes permanent; the depressive mood changes all the colors of life to gray and does not allow enjoying things to the fullest.
Varieties of guilt feelings
First, keep in mind that there are two main types of guilt. The first is a standard response to mistakes or causing inconvenience to someone, making the wrong decision because the conscience torments. Such guilt is quite common and even beneficial, as it is able to control the framework of human behavior and filter badly from good.
Guilt can be felt or forgotten, it is a natural reaction to the feeling. It does not have to be forever. If for some reason, after an apology, corrections, or other measures, the feeling persists for a long time and complicates life significantly, then we should talk about morbid guilt. This condition is difficult to change and constantly gnaws from within a person.
A morbid sense of guilt arises in some cases: if the mistake is so great that one cannot forgive oneself, or he is vulnerable and takes everything he is experiencing in his heart. Mistakes are not forgiven by people who hurt them (for example, if a wrong decision was successful).
Dealing with guilt
Many men and women are interested in how to get rid of guilt only when it significantly complicates a person’s life. If work, career, relationships with friends and relatives suffer from it, there are difficulties in the family and communication with children, you should think about how to remove it. Since methods of responding to such feelings are different in men and women, it is worth considering ways to deal with guilt in particular.
Removing guilt from men
n men, awareness of events is much easier than in women. They take literally everything that concerns them and respond just as accurately. As a result, mistakes can often be due to the hidden meaning of a situation that one cannot fully understand.
That is why the cause of injustice is not so easy to understand. For example, one forgets an important event for the significant other and does not arrive at the place where they agreed. Of course, a woman’s resentment arises in response to unfulfilled promises, but one looks at the situation a little differently. He believes that he can say that he forgot or failed to come and thus comes across the anger of a woman who is already offended.
As a result, the man has a great deal of guilt that he cannot explain. According to his logic, he is not guilty, but judging by the reaction of a woman who is not indifferent to him, he feels uncomfortably guilty. This model of the situation shows that men are often unaware of their wrongdoing, but they always feel guilty, even if they do not understand why.
Getting rid of men’s guilt is only possible by understanding the reasons. First, you should talk to someone who understands the current situation better. Second, you cannot skip this event on the brakes and wait until the storm subsides and everyone will forget what happened.
Maybe this is when you blame yourself for the wrong attitude or feeling towards other people. For example, giving little to a loved one, even if he is not offended, acknowledges that he could pay more, but does not do so for any reason. Thus, feelings of guilt are one-sided and based entirely on one person’s experience.
How to get rid of guilt in women
In women, emotions and feelings are carefully thought out and down-to-earth emotions. Each woman will find various reasons; explain why it came up and what it means to her. That is why women’s guilt is always understandable to them.
If there is an opportunity to eliminate the discomfort, the woman does not wait until everything is forgotten and will take effective measures to deal with guilt. She will apologize, correct mistakes, try to improve, and calm her conscience.
An overly emotional experience of each event makes a woman more sensitive to such feelings and drives her more often than a man into a web of guilt and remorse. The type of reaction to the current situation depends on the type of nature.
In most cases, she cannot tolerate for a long time if she is offended, or she grumbles in her conscience for quite some time. An abundance of emotions will overwhelm her and it is necessary to resolve the situation in time to calm the inner scales of justice.
It is not easy for both women and men to apologize and step over the guilt, as pride prevents it. How strong it depends on the nature and temperament of the individual, his upbringing, and how much error was committed. The first step on the path to getting rid of guilt is to overcome your pride, which says that everything has been done right.
The next step is to apologize and try to correct a wrong decision or mistake. You should really show remorse for what has been done and try to do the right thing. Active decisive action is the quickest way to improve both others and one.
No matter how biting the feeling of guilt, it must be removed; otherwise, it will have a negative effect on the quality of life of human life. In any case, guilt is a protective arrangement of our personality, which causes us to do right and according to our conscience.